Thirty minus 1

I feel stuck on a merry-go-round in a world where life goes on, far in the distance, without me.  I lose track of days and weeks in between boarding passes and minibars. I have an inaccurate memory or impression of pretty much everything and everyone, because, everything is happening in snapshots while I’m on the move, then, my mind tends to fill in the gaps totally freestylin’. I mean.. passable things begin to seem amazing and neutral things feel terrible.

I don’t want to dwell in a “good time” of the past. I don’t want to obsess over the possibility of a “good time” in an uncertain future. Uninvited grief and disappointment is always around the corner, waiting for me, even when I do everything by the book and play the game by the rules.

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